I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
