Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize