What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize