I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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