Yo dont text me then not text me
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
