Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
