Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sorry about my life...
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