He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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