Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
