I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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