Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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