so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
