So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize