i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
