I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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