Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
