im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
