So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Send help, water and tortillas.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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