in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Pants are for mortals
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