I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
