dude i'm inner monologue high
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
where are you?
Hypothermia
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
