wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
