I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
