Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
