Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
