Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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