sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My vagina is very pro this idea
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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