i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
