I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Nicole vs. Life
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I would fuck him just for his dog
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize