'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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