thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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