Those balls look pretty dangerous.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
