Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
