We're like a lot better than the average bears
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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