He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She bit a glass in half.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
