so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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