Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
