I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
