I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Enjoy the penises
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
