just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
