Fuck appropriateness.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
