Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize