Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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