i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
