i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
