Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I love having hate sex.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
