the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
