i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
lets start a swedish sibling band together
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
