just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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