When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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