walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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