when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
someone threw a dead crab at me
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
As shirtless as possible
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
