i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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