69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i drank out of a bidet.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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