I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize