Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
