Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
