you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
