I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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