Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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