I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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