as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
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I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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