as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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