i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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