Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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