I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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